Prenuptial agreements have often been represented as “weapons” that spouses use in a bitter divorce…pessimistic, “worst-case-scenarios” that seem to say that a marriage is doomed from the start.
As a result, many people voice strong objections when their spouse-to-be suggests that they create a prenup. Most of these objections come from the heart not the head because prenuptial agreements are, in fact, a wise “insurance policy” for any marriage.
Following are the logical answers that will effectively overcome emotional objections.
I Object! Prenuptial Agreements Always Favor the Husband
In order to be upheld by the court, prenuptial agreements must be fair and equitable in the eyes of the law. Prenups actually empower women by assigning a monetary worth to non-monetary activities (for stay-at-home moms, for example). This protects women who may have sacrificed a career to raise families.
I Object! A Prenuptial Agreement Means We Don’t Trust Each Other
A prenuptial agreement can only be created in a trusting atmosphere where both parties feel free to offer “full disclosure” regarding their assets and debts. These “intimate” revelations often open the door to resolving other important issues.
I Object! Even If We Divorce, I’m Sure It Will Be Amicable
Even the most loving marriages can end badly. There’s just no way to know. A well-drafted prenuptial agreement will help ensure that there are no emotionally and financially draining court battles in the future on the issues covered in the prenup.
I Object! Neither of Us Has a Lot of Assets
Hopefully, your future will be filled with success — individually and collectively. If only one party thrives in the marriage, however, those assets may be “up for grabs” in the event of divorce. A prenuptial agreement can ensure that each party keeps what he/she has earned.
I Object! We’re Not Going to Ever Get Divorced
Sadly, as divorce statistics demonstrate, many “happily ever afters” turn out quite differently. There’s no such thing as 20/20 clairvoyance, so having an “insurance policy” is simply wise and prudent. You can also mention that prenuptial agreements define what happens to martial assets in the event of death, as well as divorce.
I Object! I’ll Be Worried All the Time
In fact, the opposite is true. A prenup provides tremendous peace of mind for both parties in a marriage. With decisions about marital assets, support, etc. made in advance, you’ll both be able to sleep at night knowing that your rights (and assets) are protected.
Remember that many people simply can’t sign any type of prenuptial agreements because of religious convictions. The Roman Catholic church, for example, considers that a marriage is “invalid” (i.e., never happened) if there are such agreements, because they presuppose the possibility of divorce. Believing that divorce is possible, in the eyes of the Catholic church, makes one attitudinally not oriented toward the idea of marriage itself – which 100 % vulnerability of everything you own, and yourself. It would be unfortunate for people who are religious to be overlooked as good marriage partners, when in fact they make (in general) the best marriage partners out there, and are the least likely to get divorced in the first place. Prenuptial agreements are for those who are “secular”, who don’t really practice religion, which is fine if that’s what someone wants. For the religious, prenuptial agreements do pose more spiritual and religious difficulties.
I am 33. I married my husband when I was 18. I signed the agreement with pressure from his mom and assurance that it was fair. I didn’t tell my parents until after 7 years of marriage. My husband is cheating on me. We have a 7 year old daughter. I am trying to get a divorce and am most likely going to be screwed over because I was so nieve to sign the aggrement 15 years ago. My lawyer is not too sure we can fight it, because it will be costly. It is so unfair. I have not done anything to diserve this. What do you think I can do?
Question- I have been previously married. I’ve been divorced for quite some time and in that time attended college. I am currently with someone and the marrage topic keeps coming up. The issues is I had a terrible divorce and I don’t want it to happen again. My goal is to continue on to dental school to become a dentist, but I don’t want to get married and then if it doesn’t work out lose half of my dental practice to someone who didn’t work for it or have to pay outragous alimony to him either. Where I am not in dental school yet, or even have my own practice am I able to put that in a prenup? Things that may be in the future? Since losing alot of stuff in my last divorce, I don’t really want to get married again unless I know that I am not going to lose everything that I worked so hard for. I do not want to start all over again. Am I able to have something in the prenup that states what assets we each haveand updated it as more items are aquired? I am not very familiar with prenups.